Hold me for a while
by beathi28
Summary: Jane and Maura were beautiful couple for two years and expecting their baby soon. One day Jane broke Maura's heart. I was inspired by the song " Hold me for a while" so I wanted to name my first story after it. This is my first fan fiction ever. This couple has affected me a lot. For your information, English is not my mother tongue so please don't be angry if I made any mistakes.
1. She broke her

"Hold, hold me for a while, I know this won't last forever. So hold, hold me tonight before the morning takes you away"

Sitting in her bed at night listening to this song again and again, she did not care how many times the song repeating itself. Starring at the side of their bed, her wife had been always occupying, she could not control herself anymore. Maura let the tears flow freely.

"What's that sparkle in your eyes? Is it tears that I see? Oh tomorrow you're gone. So tomorrow I'm alone."

She was alone. Jane's gone.

She had not eaten since the morning, since she heard about Jane's kissing another woman. She didn't want to leave her bed, spending the whole day crying over what happened earlier that day. How could Jane do this to her? After years of friendship, two years of marriage and their first baby's on the way, how could she do this to her?

_Why did Jane sleep with another woman? Is it because I'm pregnant and couldn't make her happy sexually for the last few weeks? _Maura's mind was wondering about that. She let out a cry over the pain she was feeling emotionally. "How can you do this to me Jane? I've always loved you so much. I thought you are the only person that never ever is going to betray the love I have for you. How could you touch another person if I'm still in your heart? Am I even in your heart Jane?" She didn't care about the fact that no one's there to hear what she's saying or asking.

Slowing bringing her hand to caress her big belly, Maura talked to the baby "Your mama loves me, right? I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't have asked her to leave. But she left. She didn't deny it. Oh God!" she cried again.

The other side of the town, Jane's sitting at dirty robber, solving her personal problems by consuming excessive amount of alcohol. That's what she knew to do to run away from the mess she made. Raising her head from the table, she saw Frost and Korsak walking towards her.

"You look like shit, Janie. What's up with you today?" Korsak raised his voice at Jane.

"Yeah old man." Giving an appreciative look towards Korsak, Frost spoke, "What happened to you Jane? You've been acting weird from this morning and now, you are here alone drinking beers like you don't give a damn about anyone in this world. Where's Dr. Isles?" He concerned about Jane's pregnant wife.

Of course everyone loved Maura. She was one of the coolest persons among the colleagues in BPD.

Jane buried her face in her own hands. Either Korsak or Frost didn't know what to expect from the brunette.

Finally, Jane looked at them "I've fucked up everything. I'm a loser, guys. That's it. I'm a fucking asshole who messed up a beautiful life with a wonderful woman in this world."

"What are you saying? What did you do?" Korsak asked.

"I cheated on Maura." That was all Jane could say before she choked up at her own words and cried.

"What? When? Why did you do this to Maura?" Frost was getting angry. "Come on Jane. Maura is the perfect woman I've ever met. She loves you. She makes you happy. For God's sake she's carrying _your_ child, Jane. What kind of bullshit is this? Oh man." He was frustrated.

"I love her, Frost. I love her with my heart. She is the only woman in my life. I can't bear the thought of losing her. No! I can't live without her." Jane was pleading with her eyes.

Korsak silently asked "Then why the fuck did you do it?" he didn't raise his voice this time. He knew even though Jane made a mistake, she's broken too.

"I don't know Korsak. I was drunk. Maura was at her parents' house last week. I was fucking drinking at the bar and then a chick came to me. I don't even know her name, Korsak. I didn't do it on purpose. I've never thought about cheating on Maura. NEVER EVER" Jane tried to be innocent.

"So how did Maura find out?" Frost asked.

"The girl I was with, she snapped a picture of her kissing me while I was sleeping, naked with her from _my_ phone." She continued "I didn't notice until this morning, until Maura was checking my phone for the pictures we've taken during the Christmas."

"Oh boy, I don't know what to say Janie. You really fucked up this time." Korsak said and ordered a drink for him.

"Where is Dr. Isles now?" Frost was asking.

"At home. When she found out about it, she asked me to leave and I did. She didn't want to talk to me. How could she? After what I've done to her I don't know if she will ever forgive me. I am an asshole" her voice was raspier than usual because of the alcohol and the sadness.

At Maura's house, the clock on the night stand was showing 10.30 p.m. Maura was still in bed. She didn't want to share her pain with anyone. Even with Angela, her mother in law. She wasn't ready to face anyone until she heard a sound of someone opening her front door.

"Maura" Angela called. "Are you still up?" she knocked on the door of Maura's bedroom.

Maura didn't know how to ignore her. After all Angela loved Maura like her own daughter.

"Yes, give me a minute, Angela" she tried to gather herself back.

"Are you alright dear? It seems like you didn't come out of the room at all. I didn't see you at all today. Is there something wrong?"

With the last question from Angela, Maura started to cry again. She dragged herself out of the bed and opened the door. Once she saw Ma Rizzoli , she buried her face in her hands and tried to hold the tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh dear! What happened? Why are you crying? Are you in pain? What happened Maura? Where is Jane?" Angela tried to calm the crying blonde.

Maura did not answer to any of the questions that Angela asked.

Suddenly, everything went black and Maura was on the floor.


	2. All her fault

_Maura was on the floor._

_"MAURA" _Angela called and tried to digest the event that just happened in front of her eyes. She was unsure of what to do. She tried to wake Maura up but Maura was unconscious. Angela panicked as she saw Maura's face becoming paler than before. She called 911 and waited for the paramedics to come and check on Maura.

While waiting for the arrival of the ambulance, she tried to call Jane.

Jane's cell phone was ringing.

At the dirty robber, "Why the hell is ma calling me now?" Jane whined and tossed her phone on the table.

"Answer the call, Janie" Korsak said simply.

"No, not now Korsak. I am not sure if I want to hear the music from my ma _now. _Definitely Maura's been telling everything to her. I am already in deep shit. I don't want her to make it worse. I don't want to deal with her for now or at least tonight" with that Jane tried to get up from the booth she had been sitting for hours.

"Where do you think you go Rizzoli?" Frost asked "to your home to Dr. Isles?"

She was thinking for a while.

"Uh! No how can I see her face again Frost? I don't know where I'm going. May be to Frankie's house." Jane checked her wrist watch. It's showing 11.00 p.m.

_What would she be doing now?_ Jane thought about Maura. _Should I call and check on her? What if she doesn't want me to call her? I am sure she is fucking mad at me. That's why she didn't even care to look for me._ She looked at her phone on the table.

While Jane was in deep thinking, she heard a buzzing sound. It was Korsak's phone ringing. Korsak took his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller I.D.

He saw Angela Rizzoli's name on the screen and looked at Jane for a moment.

Jane caught Korsak staring at her and snapped "What?"

"It's your mother, Janie. Should I answer the call or not?" Korsak asked her because he did not want her to get into trouble _again._

"Just answer it but don't tell her that I'm here" Jane was drunk. She slurred. She didn't care whatever her ma was going to talk to her ex-partner.

"Hello Mrs. Rizzoli" he said.

"Hello Korsak" even before she started the conversation, Korsak knew that something was wrong.

Meanwhile, Jane was sitting in booth again and falling asleep there.

"What's wrong? Why are you so tensed? What happened? Is everything alright?" glancing at the younger detective he tried to calm down Angela.

Frost mouthed _"What's wrong?"_

Korsak just shrugged his shoulders.

"Korsak did you see Janie? She is not picking up my calls. Maura…" she couldn't countinue. Korsack waited a moment.

"I didn't see Janie. Did Maura tell you anything?" Korsak wanted to know what's going on with Jane's life.

"What?" she composed herself and talked again. "No, Korsak. Maura fainted. She looks so pale. I didn't know what happened to her. I am so scared. I tried to call Jane. Where is she? Where the hell did she go?" Angela was boiling inside with her anger.

"What? Where is Maura now? Is she alright?" he signaled Frost to wake Jane up.

"I am at Mass General now. I don't know Korsak. I am still waiting in the hall. She is still unconscious. How could Jane leave her pregnant wife alone?" Angela was so worried about Maura because it was not normal for the blonde to lock herself up in the room a whole day and crying her eyes out. _It's must be something that Jane did._ She thought.

"Alright. I'll find Jane and bring her there in few minutes. Just take care of Maura. I'll come with Frost and Jane" he hung up the call.

"WHAT THE HELL Rizzoli?" he shouted at Jane who was stirring from her sleep.

"What happened?" Frost asked and Korsak explained everything.

"Oh man I feel so sorry for Maura. Why is Jane doing this to her? Frost sighed and went to Jane.

"Jane" no answer, "JANE" Frost shook her violently.

"Oh shit" Jane's eyes were opened. "What the hell Barry? Why did you do it?" she tried to gain her steadiness.

"Get your ass to your wife Jane Rizzoli. She is in hospital now" said Korsak.

"What? Why?" Jane seemed so confused and she tried to register every word Korsak just said to her.

"Your wife fainted. She is in hospital and your mom called you because she wanted you there for Maura but she didn't know that you were happily drinking and spending your time at dirty robber instead of taking care of your own wife." Clearly he was angry at Jane.

"_Oh Maura! What have I done to you?"_Jane started to cry again.

"Let's go to the hospital Rizzoli." Korsak wrapped an armed around Jane's shoulders and dragged her out of dirty robber slowly.

Frost opened his car's door for them to get in. He started the engine and looked at Jane. He knew that she was feeling guilty for what she did to Maura. She cheated on Maura and then she neglected her pregnant wife while she needed Jane at most.

Jane didn't look at either of them. She kept her gaze on a blank spot. She did this to her wife. She did this to her child. _Wait! Is there something wrong with my baby? Is that why Maura... _She couldn't finish her thoughts.

"Frost, can you go faster? Put your siren on" said Korsak. He looked at Jane who was sitting in the back seat of the car. He wanted to assure her but he couldn't. This was all her fault.

He cleared his throat "Hrm, Jane. Don't worry everything will be alright." He tried his best.

Jane didn't respond. She didn't even move. Her eyes were fixed on the same blank spot.

_It's all my fault. I am so sorry Maura. _It was what running in Jane's mind for the whole time.


	3. Not now

_It's all my fault. I am so sorry Maura._

Rest of the journey to the hospital was deadly silent. No one spoke. Neither Frost nor Korsak could make a comment about already broken women. Jane couldn't forgive herself. Despite of what happened between her and her wife, Jane loved Maura and their baby. She loved her family. She wanted to hold her child. She loved to wake up with Maura every morning. She loved to look at her beautiful wife before she falls asleep. Now she fucked up.

Frost pulled up in front of Mass General. Jane slowly dragged herself out. Her vision was blurry; no one could tell it's the alcohol or the tears. She stumbled through the doors until she found her mother sitting in hall way. Frost and Korsak followed her behind.

Angela heard the familiar clicking of boots. She raised her head and saw Jane, walking towards her. She bolted up from the chair she was sitting and ran quickly to hug her beloved daughter. She threw herself on Jane and asked "Oh my god Janie! Where have you been?"

Before Jane could ask anything, Angela pulled away from Jana and looked her daughter into the eyes. Jane could see her ma's face was getting red in anger. Oh no.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! Have you been drinking?" she asked.

Jane wanted to say 'no' but she couldn't lie because anyone could smell the alcohol in her breathe from few feet away.

"Is that why you didn't answer you calls?" Angela raised her voice. "Tell me now. I thought I raised you better than that. I thought you love your family. Clearly, you don't even care about Maura and the child" with that Angela stormed off the place she was currently occupying.

"Angela" Korsak called after her. "Jane, I'll talk to her. Go and see your wife" he said and went after Mrs. Rizzoli.

"Thanks Korsak" she replied.

Frost was standing there and witnessing the chaotic situation. He was tired. "Mm, Jane I think I should go now. I'll come and see Maura in the morning. Call me if you need anything" he closed the distance between them, hugged Jane and reassured her. "Don't worry. She will be okay." He turned around and left the building.

Jane was standing in the hall way. She didn't know how to handle all her problems at once. She wanted to see Maura. She wanted to know that her wife and the baby were okay. She missed her family. Warm, sticky liquid made her cheeks wet again. One moment, if she thought about the consequences, she wouldn't have done any of these mistakes.

"Is there anyone here for Mrs. Rizzoli Isles?" a nurse called from Maura's room.

"It's me Jane Rizzoli Isles. I am her wife. How is she? How is the baby? Can I see her?" Jane continued to ask questions.

"She is awake now but rest of the details, doctor will tell you. You can see your wife if you want. Dr. Walter will be here in a minute. If she needs anything just press the call button. I'll be here" the nurse said and left the room.

"Thank you" Jane said with teary eyes.

She slowly entered the room. She saw the blonde lying in the hospital bed. The scene broke her heart into million pieces.

Maura knew Jane was there. She did not make eye contact with the brunette. She was not ready to show her weakness. She did not want to cry in front of Jane. She wanted to be firm. She wanted to hold herself up. She didn't want to forgive the brunette yet or may be ever.

Yes. She had been with so many people before _Jane_. She had dated many of them. She had sex with many of them but it was until Jane came into her life. After she fell in love with this brunette, she didn't care about anyone in this world but Jane. She didn't think about anyone but Jane. In future, she wanted to picture herself only with Jane. She wanted to have a family. She wanted to have a mini Jane. How could Jane break all her promises that she made to Maura?

"Mau..."

"Hello! Sorry to interrupt you two. I hope you are Mrs. Rizzoli Isles' family" Dr. Walter entered the room.

"Mm Ya. I am Detective Jane Rizzoli" she glanced over at Maura "Isles and this is my wife Dr. Maura Rizzoli Isles." She introduced herself and her _family_ to the doctor and waited for him to continue.

"Well, detective and doctor, nice to see you both" he looked at Maura and nodded his head.

"I am here to update you with the information of your wife's health. She is stable now. _Her_ baby is…"

Jane cut him off "_Our._"

"Excuse me! What?" the doctor was confused.

"It's _OUR_ baby. You said it's her baby" anyone could detect the sadness seeping through the voice of brunette.

"I am really sorry. I did not mean to say that. Please, I apologize for what I said earlier" the doctor said once again and continued "She and _your_ baby are fine but her stress level was really higher when they brought her in. I recommend that she should be in bed rest for the remaining period of her pregnancy. You can bring her home in the morning but make sure she is resting. If you'll excuse me, I have another patient waiting for me. Call me if you need anything" he turned around and stopped abruptly. "And detective, your wife has not been eating at least for the last 12 hours" then he left.

Jane stayed still at the door, was shocked by the fact that not only torturing herself, Maura was taking revenge on their baby too.

"WHAT THE HELL MAURA! Why are _you_ doing this to me?" Jane shouted at her wife and tried to control the raging fire inside her heart.

Maura turned her face away from the brunette. She didn't even open her mouth to say anything.

Her silence made the brunette even angrier. "Maura! Look at me. Answer me. Why are you doing this to me?" she was pleading now.

The blonde did not look at Jane. "What _am_ I doing to you as what you did to _me_ Jane?" she blinked away the tears that threatened to fall from her hazel eyes.

The words cut sharply, deeply into Jane's heart.

"Maur" she really tried.

"No! Not now, Jane. I am not ready for this conversation with _you_" she hesitated for a moment "please, leave me alone for now. Just leave, Jane" she finished her sentence. She did not yell. She did not even raise her tone with Jane. She said it simply, calmly.

Taken aback by those words, Jane turned to leave. She opened and held the door for a moment "Just know this Maura. No matter what happens, I love you. _Only you. _Please take care of yourself and our baby" she was crying and closing the door behind her.

"_Ours" _Maura whispered to the empty space. She was lost again. Her hazel orbs were filled with tears _again_.


	4. Let's do this

"_Ours"Maura whispered to the empty space._

Outside the room, Jane could not hold it anymore. She could be strong at her job. She could be a hero, saving other people's lives. She could shoot herself to catch a bad guy but this was real Jane Rizzoli who could not handle the sharp words coming out of the love of her life, her wife, her best friend and the mother of her child.

Jane stayed against the wall in the hall way. _She hates me._ The thought made Jane's legs to give out. She was sliding down against the wall to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging herself with her hands.

"_Jane" the blonde whispered._

"_Hm."_

"_Jane" she tried again._

"_Yeah Maura" Jane sounded raspier._

_Maura was lying in their bed and Jane's head was on Maura's chest. The brunette wrapped her arm around the slender waist of the blonde. Jane was listening to the heart beats of her lovely wife. Both of them were naked, after the love making session for few hours._

"_Jane, I am thinking…" she trailed off._

"_Well, Dr. Isles is thinking. That must be the eighth wonder in this world. Isn't it Dr. Isles?" Jane was joking._

"_Jane, can you be serious for a while? I've been thinking about something lately and I couldn't resist it" Maura remained silent._

_Jane looked up into the hazel eyes "Alright. Tell me. I am listening."_

"_Do you really love me, Jane? I mean, do you really want to be with me for the rest of our life?" Maura asked with some kind of emotion in her voice._

"_Well, I thought you were going to tell me something. This is not telling Maur" she whined._

"_Jane, please tell me you love me" she cupped Jane's face with her hands "tell me that you won't leave me" she blinked away the unshed tears._

"_Hey. Look at me, Maur. Look at me, beautiful. You are the only woman in my life, Maura. You are my true love. I promise you. I won't leave you. I promise that I always come home to you. I promise that I always love you with every beat of my heart Maura Dorthea Rizzoli Isles. Don't you dare cry on me" Jane claimed Maura's lips by her own._

_The kiss was slow and tender._

_Jane broke the kiss first and looked at the honey blonde with such passion in her dark brown eyes._

"_Tell me. What were you thinking about?" she gently stroked Maura's right hand with her thumb._

"_Jane, I was alone in my life before I met you. I was adopted as an only child. I didn't spend time with my parents. I didn't have a real family until you came into my life. I've always wanted to be a mother, Jane. I want to have children with you."_

_Jane was quiet._

"_Jane?"_

"_Maur, can we talk about this later?" Jane said and rolled over to face the other side of the room._

"_What's wrong? Don't you want to have kids with me?" her voice broke._

"_Maur! Don't." Jane warned._

"_Why?" Maura asked._

_Jane sat up quickly. "It's my job. I can't be a good mother, Maur. I can be dangerous if we have children. Whoever wants to get me, they can hurt our kids too. What if one day I died at work?"_

"_But you promised me that you'll come home to me. Did you say that because you want me to feel better?" Maura sat up too clearly was pissed at Jane's last statement._

"_Maura, no. Please. You know what I meant" Jane reached for Maura._

_Before Jane could touch her, she bolted out from the bed. "No. I know what you meant. I know one day you will leave me. I know your job is dangerous so is mine." She faced Jane who was still sitting on the bed. "Everyone lives once. I've seen many of them on my autopsy table. I know you'll be there one day, but do you understand that I'll be there too, Jane?"_

"_I love you. All I want in my life is to have a family with you, Jane. Can you please do that for me?" she pleaded._

_Jane got off of the bed and reached Maura. She held Maura's both hands in her one hand and slowly brought the other to Maura's chin. She wanted to make contact with hazel. "I'll do anything for you, sweetie. If this is what you want, we can have a baby. I'll never hurt you, Maur. I just want you to be happy."_

"_Really?" the blonde asked._

"_Really." Jane kissed her again on the lips._

"_I want to have _your _child, Jane." Maura broke the kiss and told Jane._

"_What?" Jane was shocked._

"_I… I want to carry your child." Maura was scared because what if Jane doesn't want it again._

_Jane face brightened. Maura noticed the change in Jane's facial expression._

"_Will you?" she asked hopefully._

"_Of course, anything for you dear. Let's do it." Jane brought Maura to the bed. Both of them settled under the cover and Jane snaked her arms around her wife._

"_I love you, Jane."_

"_I love you too, Maur. Go to sleep." She planted a kiss on Maura's forehead._

Jane was thinking about the night they both agreed on having child. It was filled with pure love and passion. She did not have the time to wipe the tears away that was falling all the while from her eyes.

From far away, Angela was looking at the brunette who was on the floor. It broke her heart. Her daughter was hurt by unknown reason. She _thought_ so. Beside her, Korsak was standing "Go and talk to her, Angela" he was worried about Jane.

Angela walked towards Jane and put her hand on Jane's shoulder.

Jane lifted her head and saw her mother standing there.

"Ma!"

"Sh… It's okay, baby. I am so sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to say those things, Janie" she hugged her crying daughter. "I know something is going on between the two of you but you need to fix this, Jane. She loves you. You love her too. You're made for each other so please, don't do this to your family."

Jane tried hard to swallow every word she was going to say "I… I cheated on her, ma."

Angela pulled away suddenly.

"What!" she did not know what else to say.

"I swear to God, I didn't do it purposely, ma. Please don't hate me." Jane begged.

"Does she… Does Maura know this?" Angela asked. Her voice was neutral.

Jane could read the expression on her mother's face. It was disappointment.

"Yes. She found out this morning."

"Korsak, I want to go home now. Do you want me to give you a ride?" Angela looked over to Korsak and was ready to leave her daughter there.

Korsak nodded.

"Ma?" Jane did not want to be hated by everyone.

"No. Listen! Fix it. I don't want to lose my daughter in law and my grand baby for what you did." Angela left with Korsak.

_Yeah, what I did. I destroyed my family._ Jane thought and looked at the time, it was 12.30 a.m.


	5. Whatever

_It was 12.30 a.m._

Jane wiped the wetness away from her cheeks. She had to ask for forgiveness from Maura. She would do anything to get her wife back. She would also be begging on her knees if it's that Maura wants from her.

She stood up from the floor and slowly opened the door of the room Maura was staying. There was, her wife sleeping without any interruptions. Jane closed the door behind her quietly. She wanted to apologize to Maura, but she did not have the heart to wake the sleeping angel up.

Jane shifted the chair from the corner of room, near the bed. She sat while her eyes glanced over the beauty in front of her. She marveled the pregnant lady who was sound asleep in the hospital bed. Jane took off her blazer and shirt that she was wearing and left the tank top on.

She did not dare to touch the blonde. _What if she wakes up and yells at me to leave again?_ She looked at Maura. _She looks so perfect, even without any make up, designer clothes and, my God, her high heels. She is still so adorable with 28 weeks pregnant belly. Everything looks perfect on her, especially her google mouth. _Jane tried and failed miserably to suppress the chuckle that escaped her mouth.

Maura stirred a bit while Jane's heart dropped to her stomach. _Oh no. Not now, Maur._

Fortunately, Maura didn't seem to be opening her eyes. Of course, how could she? After all she was crying the whole day and tired indeed.

On the other hand, Jane wanted to feel the baby so badly. It'd been more than 24 hours since she touched her wife for the last time. After Maura became pregnant with her baby, all Jane enjoyed to do was to hold her wife whenever she could and feel the baby before falling asleep. She wanted to show the baby that his or her mama's still there for the family she ever wanted.

_Please don't leave me. Please don't do this, Maur. I love you. I am so sorry. I didn't get a chance to tell you this but I'm really sorry, Maura. I screwed up once. Give me a chance. Give one more fucking chance. I'll prove it to you, Maura that you're the most important thing in my entire life. _This was how Jane wanted to beg to her wife for another chance in her married life. It was nearly 2 a.m, when finally Jane drifted off to sleep.

Few hours later, the room was filled with brightness. The clock on the wall showed 7.15 in the morning.

Maura was the one who woke up first and not sure where she'd been. She sat up quickly and everything that happened on the previous day floated through her mind again. She looked at the right side of the bed currently she was sitting on. Jane was sleeping in that uncomfortable chair.

_She looks so tired. _Even though Maura was mad at Jane, she couldn't help herself. After all that's her wife.

Jane stretched herself and opened her eyes slowly. Her gaze fell on the person in front of her.

Carefully she started the conversation "Good morning, Maura. How are you feeling now?"

"What are you doing here, Jane? I told you to leave. Why are you sleeping here instead of being at home?" the coldness in the blonde's voice told that Jane was not going to be forgiven any time sooner.

"Home? You mean your house, Maura? You asked me to leave your house yesterday." Jane said sadly.

"Oh... Then why are you here? You should have gone to the woman you slept with." Before she could realize what she was saying, she said it and regretted each word that's said, instantly.

The brunette's face fell. _I deserve this for what I did._

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh." Maura lowered her head and dropped her gaze on the floor.

"Don't be, Maura. I deserve that." Jane stood up putting her shirt and blazer on.

"Can you give me half an hour so I can get my car from dirty robber and get you home?" Jane asked hopefully.

"You don't have to strain yourself for me, Jane. I'll call Angela so she can take me home." Maura did not want to have private moments with Jane. Actually, she was afraid that her anger would show up any time if this won't stop now.

Jane was hurt. She didn't expect this from her beloved wife. "Okay" she whispered and turned to leave.

"Wait, Jane. One more thing I want to tell you. You can stay at our house. It's not mine; remember, we both bought that house together. I don't have the rights to ask you to leave, Jane. You're welcomed there, but you have to stay in guest room because I don't want you in _my _bed anymore."

Jane nodded. She was not looking at the blonde. She did not want her wife to see the tears, she caused. She left without any words.

Maura's eyes were glistened with tears_. Oh Jane. I am sorry but whenever I think of the picture in your phone, all I can feel is the stabbing pain in my chest. I know scientifically that's impossible but still you cause this pain. You betrayed my trust. You betrayed me._

Maura brought her hand to rub her belly gently. "Hey baby. I am so sorry. Mommy didn't mean to do that yesterday. I was so mad at your mama, still am. Like she said last night, I'll never ever hurt you, my love. I don't like to guess or leap to conclusions, you know but…" she did not finish her sentence. Suddenly, "Did she get tired of me? Is that why she went after another girl behind my back? She broke my heart. How can I trust her again huh?" she asked this question to her unborn baby instead of asking the same question to that particular person.

Back in BPD, Jane was entering the building, without any doubts anyone could tell this; Rizzoli was not in good mood at all. She passed by the police cafeteria. Her ma was not there. _Maur called her already? _She went to Stanley and got a cup of coffee for herself. She didn't want to come to work; she would rather spend her time with Maura. _Wait. What? How?_ _That's not possible for the time being._

She entered the bullpen with a coffee cup in her hand. Frost and Korsak were already there. No one seemed to acknowledge her presence. Frost eyes were fixed on the computer screen while Korsak's were fixed on a file in his hands.

"Good morning, Korsak and Frost." She greeted them with a forced smile, even though her voice showed that she was still sleepy.

Frost and Korsak looked up to the person before them and smiled "Good morning, Jane." Both men said simultaneously.

"You look like shit, Janie. So, what happened with Dr. Isles?" Korsak asked out of curiosity.

"Nothing has changed. She is still mad at me and by the way she is fine." Nothing was going to change her mistakes. She went to her desk and sat there.

"Sorry Jane. I couldn't come to see Maura this morning. I tried to call you." Frost felt guilty because he said he would come and visit Dr. Isles.

"Oh sorry Frost. My phone was running down and it's alright that you couldn't come and see her. She'll understand. The only person she hates now is me." She muttered the last part under her breath.

"What are you going to do to fix it?" Korsak glared at Jane.

"Whatever it takes to get her back." Jane said with slight anger in her voice.


	6. It wasn't over

Angela and Maura were sitting on Maura's couch after their dinner at a typical Italian restaurant.

_Should I start that conversation with Angela?_ Maura was thinking deeply about the events that recently took place in their life.

"She loves you." Angela was close enough to read Maura's mind.

"Pardon?"

"Jane! She loves you, Maura. I know my daughter made this mistake. I am not supporting her in this, Maura. You must know this. I love you as my own and I don't want my family to fall apart. I am already old, Maura. I don't have the time or the strength to stand by and watch my daughters suffering. I can't ask you to make decision in favor of Jane, that's none of my business too but remember this. No matter what happens between the two of you, you'll always be my favorite daughter." Angela held Maura's hands; her eyes were filled with tears.

"Thank you, Angela. You're the mother I've ever wanted." Maura hugged her mother in law with so much love.

The front door of Maura's house was opened. Jane let herself in and saw her mother comforting her wife.

She did not say anything and passed by the two of them into the kitchen. Then, she was quietly grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator to drink.

Angela and Maura broke their embrace and looked at Jane who was still standing against the kitchen counter.

Ma Rizzoli could sense the tension between the two young ladies. She did not want to interfere in any of this issue. Angela decided to give some privacy to the couple so that they could talk and solve the 'so called' issue.

Angela stood up and politely excused herself to the guest room. Before leaving, she gave a motherly hug to Maura and kissed her forehead. "Take care, Maura. Good night," then she looked at Jane and said "Good night to you too, Jane." She opened the front door and closed it behind her.

Jane was looking at Maura, who was still having her gaze at the front door. Jane just waited for Maura to make eye contact. Still there was none.

"Maura!" She called her wife.

"Maura, please look at me." _She hates to look at my face._ Jane really tried hard to keep her face normal.

"Yes, Jane. How can I help you?" Maura turned her attention to her demanding wife.

"Enough!" Jane yelled.

Maura was shocked by this outburst of Jane.

"Of what?" Maura raised her voice equally to Jane's.

"Of this." Jane moved her hand back and forth between the two of them. She walked towards the couch where Maura was sitting.

"NO, Stay right there!" Maura said it firmly. "What do you want me to do, Jane? Tell me, right now! Do you want me to forgive you for what you did? Do you want me to accept your apology? God damnit! Will you? Will you forgive me just like that if I fuck someone else?" Maura was frustrated. She was demanding answers from the brunette.

After a paused moment, "Don't you love me anymore?" Jane was standing like a lifeless body in front of Maura. Her question was most like a whisper. She hung her head down and looked at the floor. Clearly, she was crying. "Am I so disgusting, Maura?" She knew her married life with Maura was over, but there was still hope in her heart.

Maura did not expect this from Jane. The question caught her off guard. She could say, she doesn't love Jane anymore, but the very next moment, she would hyperventilate and faint because that was a lie. _Oh Jane! I love you._ She wanted to scream this to Jane, but it didn't mean that Jane could do whatever she wants.

Maura stood up. "I think, we… we should split up."

Jane lifted her head and looked at Maura, her wife or ex-wife to be. She searched the blonde's face for the truth. She prayed to God that this should be a lie, but Maura's did not get hives. _So, it's true. She wants this. She wants me to go. _She chuckled in despair while blinking away the tears. She wiped the tears drops from the corner of her eyes by the back of her hand. "Okay, if that's what you want." Her voice hitched. She started to walk towards the guest room.

"Wait, Jane. Have you eaten?" She was worried because she knew the brunette too well.

Jane did not turn around. She shook her head slowly and said in inaudible voice "Don't worry about me after this. Take care of yourself, Maura" her voice trembled "please don't hate _my _child for what I've done."

_Your child?_ The realization hit Maura hardly_. There is no 'us'. There is no 'ours'. Oh my god! _She rewind the moment when she made the decision. '_I think, we… we should split up' did I say that? No! No! This can't be happening._ Her knees buckled and she gripped the arm of the couch to prevent herself from falling down.

She opened her mouth to say something to Jane, and stopped abruptly because Jane was no longer there. Maura was struggling between the thoughts of going after Jane and staying away from her.

She sat there and placed a hand on her belly. She could feel the baby kicking.

"_Jane, come here quickly." Maura was sitting on her couch while Jane was making breakfast for them. _

"_Jane!" she exclaimed. _

_In kitchen, Jane dropped the pan on counter "Fuck!" she ran towards Maura. "What happened? Are you alright? Are you in pain?" she was worried._

_There was a smile appearing in the corner of Maura's lips. She loved this woman, this caring, loving, strong, smart woman._

"_I love you, Jane." She smiled at her wife._

"_God woman! Did you just ask me to come here quickly to tell this?" Jane was pointing a finger at Maura accusingly._

"_No," Maura was feigning innocence. Jane was extremely annoyed by this._

"_Dr. Isles, are you playing a game with me? Because if you are, then I am really sorry to tell you that I am being busy with making breakfast so that my wife and child won't be starving to death."_

_Maura chuckled. "Come here, sit with me." She patted the couch next to her. Jane groaned and went near her wife. Once she settled herself next to Maura, the blonde grabbed Jane's hand._

"_Wha…" Before Jane could protest, she placed brunette's hand on her belly._

_Suddenly, Jane's face brightened. She felt a kick. _

"_Is that…" she could not find any words. "Is that the baby, Maura?" Maura nodded. _

"_Oh my god! I can feel it. I can feel the baby kicking, Maura." Jane's dark brown eyes glistened with tears, happy tears. _

_Maura cupped Jane's face between her hands. "I love you, Jane Rizzoli Isles." She was smiling happily at Jane. Jane was looking into Maura's hazel orbs. _

"_I love you too, Maura." They brought their lips together. It was full of adoration. A moment later, Jane broke the kiss and lowered her head to place a kiss on Maura's pregnant belly. "Mama loves you," she looked up to Maura "Mommy loves you too" she grinned sheepishly at her wife. _

"Jane." It was a whisper.

She stood up and walked to the guest room. She gently knocked on the door "Jane, may I come in?"

No answer.

"Jane, answer me please." Still there was no answer. "Okay, I am going to open this door, I am coming in." She placed her hand on the knob and turned it. It was locked. The door was locked inside and a wave of panic swept over Maura.

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A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews and support. I didn't expect such outcome for my first writing. Once again, Thanks!


	7. Her past

_The door was locked inside and a wave of panic swept over Maura. _

"Jane, open up." Maura tried again. She was on the verge of getting tears.

"Maura, just leave me alone for a while, please." It was a plea. Jane sounded defeated. She did not open the door and Maura was in no position to push Jane anymore.

"Okay." Maura hesitated for a moment then she went to her bedroom.

Inside the guestroom, Jane was sitting on the edge of the bed and sobbing quietly. She had lost the most precious thing in her life, her Maura. She could not face anyone, even her mother or brothers. She just wanted to be alone. She made a mistake, a huge mistake but it was not to be known. It did not mean anything to her, there was no feeling involved. That was just a mistake, happened out of anger and confusion.

"_No, Maura! I told you already. I don't want you to go, in this condition." She pointed at Maura's big belly. "Why don't you just listen to me, once?"_

"_Jane, I am a big girl and I can take care of myself. Don't forget that I am a doctor too. Why don't you want me to go to New York? Is it my family that bothering you? I told you many times that it's an important event for the Isles Foundation. They invited me, Jane. How can I say 'NO'?" Maura was packing her luggage without looking at her wife._

"_Ya, you are right. Of course you can't say 'NO' to your 'wealthy family event', because you are part of it." That was not really sarcasm. _

_Maura stopped packing, "Where did that come from, Jane?"Jane could recognize the tone, it was full of hurt._

"_Where what?" Jane played dumb. _

"_You know what." Maura was so tired of arguing with Jane. She went to bed and sat there. Jane knew that Maura was upset by the comment that she made. She did not mean to say that. She just followed Maura and sat beside her. None of them wanted to initiate the conversation. _

_Few moments later, Jane spoke first, "Babe, I am sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I… You know, I can't stay alone here. I can't sleep without you next to me. And I can't concentrate on my work if I don't know exactly what you are doing there with my child inside you. What if… if anything happened to you or to the baby and I wasn't there? I will go crazy, Maura." Jane let her insecurities to show up. _

_Maura held Jane's scarred hands, "Jane, do you know how much I love you?" Jane nodded. "Do you know how much I love our baby?" Jane nodded again. "So trust me, I won't let anything happen to our child. Jane, I don't want to go alone but you said, you are having a case to solve and this is really important for Isles Foundation and they want me to take part in the annual event. But, Jane, I promise, this will be the last. I won't leave you alone again. It's only three days, Jane. I'll be here before you even start to miss me. We can always talk through phone. Okay?" Maura looked at Jane with more concern. _

"_Okay." Jane whispered to herself even though she was not okay with it at all. _

"_Come here." Maura took Jane in hands and kissed her deeply. "I love you, Jane."_

"_I love you, too." Jane pulled away from kiss and hugged her wife tightly._

_It was the first day in many years that Jane had to be by herself in Boston without Maura. She was grumpy all day. No one dared to speak to her because everyone knew how the detective will be without the gorgeous ME next to her._

_She had too much of caffeine that day but still she was in no mood to interact with anyone. She missed the blonde extremely. She wanted to talk to Maura; she wanted to hear that soft and sweet voice of the blonde immediately. _

_Jane took her phone out of her slack pocket and looked up through her contact list. When she saw the name 'Babe', a smile appeared on the corner of her lips. She pressed the call button and waited for the blonde to answer. It went to voice mail. She tried again. Still, it went to voice mail. She tossed the phone on her desk and groaned at herself. _

_Frost and Korsak were looking at Jane with wide eyes. They knew that Jane would be acting like a lost puppy without the honey blonde. _

"_Jane, why don't you go home and take rest?" Korsak suggested. _

"_Yeah, Jane. Go home. It's 6 o' clock anyway. Or do you want to join us in dirty robber?" Frost offered. _

"_Nah. It's okay. I think I should get back to home." Jane grabbed her phone and blazer and left the precinct to go home. _

_While she was driving, she wanted to try and see whether she could talk to the blonde or not. She dialed Maura's number and she couldn't reach her wife again. _

_She was getting angry. Maura said she could talk to Jane anytime. She slammed her hand on the steering wheel. _

_Jane pulled up in front of her house stopped the engine and got out of the car. Before entering into the house, she looked at the time. It was 6.30 and she tried to call Maura again. The line went dead. _

_Jane was frustrated; she wanted to know that her wife and the baby were okay. Unlocking the front door, she felt so empty inside the house and herself. Bass was in the corner of the kitchen and Jo Friday was wagging her tail at her owner._

"_Hey, girl! Did you miss me?" Jane patted the dog softly. Then she went to the kitchen and grabbed some strawberries for Bass from the refrigerator. She kneeled down in front of the tortoise and placed the strawberries before him. "Do you miss your mommy, Bass? I miss her too." She sat on the floor next to him and Jo Friday climbed on her lap. _

_She did not know how long she was sitting there. "May be I should get few drinks." She stood up and looked for beers in the fridge and there was none. "Looks like I don't have my favorite drink here." She sighed. The clock on the wall was showing 7 o' clock and she looked at her phone expecting at least a message from the blonde. She was so disappointed. She grabbed her keys, locked the front door, got into the car and started the engine. She had no idea where she was going but she wanted to get out of there before she goes crazy. _

_She could not go to dirty robber because there would be so many familiar faces and she did not want to go to her ma because Ma Rizzoli would be too annoying. Frankie was on duty so she could not go to him too. Finally, she arrived at a lesbian bar. The brunette ordered a beer. After ten minutes she ordered another. During the last thirty minutes she had at least six bottles of it. It was 8 o' clock and she did not hear from her wife yet. She was so worried. _

"_Jane? Jane Rizzoli?" A tall, blonde woman from the bar approached Jane. Jane looked up._

"_Ya. It's me. Do I know you?" Jane slurred a bit. _

"_Hey Jane don't you remember me? It's Abby from your high school. Oh my god. Did you forget me?" Abby looked so hurt. _

"_Mm no, sorry about that. It's been a long time since I met you last. I guess the last time I saw you was fifteen years ago, right?"_

"_I think so. How are you doing? I heard that you are one of the finest detectives in Boston." Abby sat across Jane. _

"_I am doing great. How are you doing? What are you doing nowadays?" Jane asked casually. _

"_I am doing fine, Jane. I am just helping with my family business in London. This is the 2__nd__ visit to Boston in the last five years. You know, I kind of miss my home here. So what are you doing here?" Abby looked so excited to meet Jane in a lesbian bar. _

"_What do mean by what am I doing here?" Jane was confused by the question. _

"_Jane, this is a lesbian bar. Do you remember? One day I asked you out and you said you are not into women and you were with, what's his name, ah Casey, right? Are you still with him? You know during my last visit to Boston, I heard that Casey and you were dating again." Abby was curious. She just winked at Jane. _

_Jane was getting uncomfortable by these questions. "No. I am married."She sipped her seventh beer of that evening._


	8. True love

_No. I am married._

_"Married? Who is that lucky man?" Abby inquired._

_"Her name is Maura." Jane said simply while sipping her beer. _

_"Her? You married a woman? Why I am not surprised." Abby said dramatically smirking at Jane._

_"Ya do you have a problem with that?" Jane was getting annoyed by Abby's remark. _

_"No, Jane. If I knew you better, I would not have given up on you. If I knew you have feeling for women, I would have been your wife now. Can you imagine that?" Abby was laughing at her own confession._

_Jane rolled her eyes at Abby playfully. "Come on, don't go there!" Jane was looking at her phone then raising her head to meet Abby's gaze. "Abby, I only love Maura, not all the women walking in and out of my life." Jane said seriously. _

_"Ok ok, Jane Rizzoli. Let's drop this topic." Abby tried to hide the hurt in her voice. "So, where is your wife? Why are sitting here alone?" _

_"She is in New York." Jane said bitterly. _

_"Oh... Are you two having a fight or something?" Abby could feel the bitterness in Jane's voice. _

_"Nah. She is having annual meeting with her family's foundation. She is pregnant with our first child and I didn't want her to go alone. She left this morning and I miss her so much. She can be stubborn sometime. You know pregnancy hormones." Jane stood up, "Excuse me. I need to use the rest room." She left her phone on the counter. _

_While Jane was in the rest room her phone started to ring. Abby grabbed the phone and saw 'Babe' with Maura's picture on the screen. She frowned at it and pressed the 'decline' button. Again it started to ring. Abby was so jealous of Maura. She did not like to see Jane with any other woman. It was not because she loved Jane, but it was because Jane rejected her. She wanted to have revenge. So she scrolled through Jane's missed call list and deleted Maura's calls from it. The she had gone through the voice mails. There was one from Maura._

'_Jane. I was trying to call you. Where have you been? I'm sorry honey. My phone wasn't working and I was caught up with the meeting. I miss you, babe. I can't stay here without you so I am getting the next flight to Boston. I'll be there in few hours. I love you. Take care.' _

_That was Maura's sweet voice and Abby's face was getting red in anger. She deleted the recent voice mail and put the phone back on the counter where it was before. She caught Jane in the sight and acted like nothing happened while Jane was gone. _

"_Oops! I left my phone here." Jane grabbed her phone and checked it once again. She was really disappointed because it was 10 p.m and still Maura had not called her yet. May be she has forgotten me while doing other stuffs. She thought to herself._

"_So, Jane, what do you have on your mind for later tonight?" Abby asked Jane while ordering another drink for herself._

"_Me? I just want to go home and crash in my bed." Jane had more than seven beers during the last 3 hours._

"_Jane, are you going to drive? You are too drunk for that."_

"_No, I am not… drunk." Jane protested but she was clearly drunk. _

"_Of course you are. Look, why don't you stay tonight with me? I am leaving to London tomorrow. I am not sure when I am going to see you after this. We can have girls' night at my house if you want or you can sleep in my guest room. How does that sound?" Abby made her puppy face and looked at Jane hopefully._

"_No, I don't think it's a good idea." Jane was trying to stand up. "I'll just call a cab and go home. See you some other time." Jane was turning to leave; suddenly she felt a hand around her wrist. _

"_Jane, why are you always avoiding me? Can't you at least accept me as your friend?" She blinked away the unshed tears. "It's been a long time since I saw you, talked to you. I am just asking for one night with you as a friend. I promise, please." Abby pleaded to Jane._

_Jane sighed. The situation was awkward. She did not want to hurt the tall, blonde. "Okay."_

_Abby and Jane went to Abby's house and she offered Jane a glass of wine. They were talking about their school days, their personal lives and their jobs. It had been one hour. Jane was sitting on couch while talking and laughing with Abby. Suddenly Abby leaned forward and kissed Jane on the lips. _

_Jane was shocked and pushed Abby backward. "What the hell was that?" _

"_I'm sorry. I could not hold myself, Jane. I've always wanted to do that with you. Sorry." Abby whimpered looking away unable to meet Jane's eyes._

"_Abby, I can't do this. I am married… to a beautiful, loving woman. I can't do this to her. I think I should go."_

"_What about me, Jane?" Abby asked quietly._

"_What about you? I don't understand what you are talking about." Jane was confused._

"_Don't tell me you never thought about being with me this way during school days. Don't tell me you never wanted to kiss me then. You rejected me because you were so afraid. You were afraid of your family, your friends and your religion. You made me to believe that you don't like women but obviously you do. I fell in love with you, Jane Rizzoli. You broke my heart. All I wanted is to be with you. Only tonight. Tomorrow, I'll be gone. No one will know about 'us'."_

"_Us? Abby are you out of your mind? This is ridiculous. I am not goin…" Jane was cut off by Abby's lips on hers. Jane was not responding to the kiss at first then she was, because she could not think straight due to the alcohol she consumed. _

"_Tell me you don't want this." Abby whispered in Jane's ears. Jane could not form any words._

"_Only tonight." Jane made sure she was not going to do this ever again. She could not fight the feeling of having sex because it had been months since she was touched by Maura. But it was wrong. She knew that. It was going to hurt Maura. But Maura would never know this. Jane was fighting with her conscience, she failed anyway. _

_It was 5 a.m when Jane stirred from the sleep. She looked around the place where she was currently at. She did not remember the incidents that happened previous night. Then she realized that she was not alone. Someone was next to her, naked. She looked down at herself. _Oh my god! What have I done? Shit._ She cursed herself, quietly slipped out of the bed and gathered her clothes from the floor. _

_She put her clothes on and checked her phone while opening the door to leave the mess she made behind. She had 4 missed calls from Maura. _Oh no! How am I going to face her? Why did I do this to her? I am an asshole. _She called a cab and reached her home. She opened the front door of her house and was shocked by the scene in front of her._

_Maura was laying on the couch uncomfortably, placing a hand on her belly while sleeping. Jane removed her boots and walked slowly to Maura. She placed a kiss on Maura's forehead softly but she did not realize she was crying until a tear drop fell on Maura's cheek and she stirred a bit. _

"_Shh, go to sleep." Jane held herself still and soothed Maura._

"_Jane?" Maura called sleepily. _

"_Ya baby, I am here. Go to sleep." Jane could not hold her tears._

_Maura opened her eyes and looked at the brunette._

"_Oh baby! Come here. Why are you crying? Where have you been? I was trying to call you." Maura sat up and held Jane's hands in hers._

"_I was called in to work." That was a lie. "I missed you, Maura. Don't do this to me ever again." This was not a lie. She broke down and wept like a kid._

"_Oh baby. I missed you too that's why I couldn't stay over there. Let's go to bed. You look so tired." Maura stood up and led Jane to their bed room. Both of them settled under the covers. _

"_Maura can I hold you?" It was a hoarse whisper. _

"_You don't have to ask me." Maura gave a peck on Jane's lips and snuggled with Jane resting her head on Jane's chest. Jane threw an arm around her wife and closed her eyes only to eliminate the tears from there. _


	9. Made for each other

"_You don't have to ask me."_

Jane was lying on the bed in guest room. She could not fall asleep because, what she did was unacceptable. It was not fair to Maura. She should not have touched other woman other than the ME. That was her wife and the mother of her child. Her marriage was going to end soon. The thought of Maura leaving her made Jane to be angry at herself. If Abby was there, Jane could have killed her for what she had done to Jane and Maura. Jane was angry at Abby. More than that she hated herself for being such a wreck and some weak asshole. She could not justify her actions by being drunk. She knew what she was doing and still she did it.

It was 12 a.m and Jane was wide awake. She curled herself into a ball and cried for hours. She did not know what else to do. Maura was going to leave her somehow. The day she cheated on Maura, she realized how much the honey blonde loved her. Maura tried to make everyone happy especially she did whatever she could to make Jane happy but Jane screwed up. That was unforgivable.

It was 2 a.m when Jane decided to leave the guest room. She was not sure what she was going to do but she was not ready to lose Maura at all. Slowly, Jane opened the door of _their _bedroom. She watched out for every step she was taking carefully not to wake the blonde from her sleep.

But Maura was not sleeping at all. She heard the door was opened and she knew that it would be only Jane entering her bedroom. She was facing away so that Jane could not look at Maura's face. She did not want to make a scene in the middle of the night so she just closed her eyes and lay there without making any moves.

On the other hand Jane wanted to hold Maura and feel the baby moving inside her. She wanted to kiss her wife but Maura would not let her to do that. So she moved to the bed slowly and got on the bed without making any noise. The detective made sure that Maura was sleeping then she leaned forward to the honey blonde and kissed the exposed skin on her neck lightly. Then she brought her hand to Maura's baby bump and caressed her unborn baby for a moment. Suddenly, she felt a kick what she was longing for the last two days. Tears welled up in her brown orbs; she got off of the bed and ran out of the room before she could break down and wake Maura up.

Tears were flowing from the blonde's eyes. She looked at the wedding picture of them on the night stand. They looked so happy. Jane was wearing a suit. Maura was wearing a pure white dress. Jane had her arm around the blonde's waist. Both of them were smiling at the camera. It was so perfect. They were a perfect couple. Maura stifled the cry that threatened to escape from her mouth. She covered her mouth with one hand and cried silently.

Outside their bedroom, Jane was crying too. She did not expect any of these to happen. Her life was so perfect with Maura. Both of them valued each other. They helped each other. They loved, cared for and respected each other. Even though they were from two different worlds, they fit into each other perfectly. She ruined it. She could not think about her life without Maura in it.

She wanted to get her wife back. She did not want any woman but her Maura.

Jane fell asleep on the couch after crying until early morning.

It was Maura who woke up first. She had gone through her morning routine and exited her room to make breakfast for herself. She did not want the baby to starve because of the fight between its two mothers. She looked at the brunette on the couch, saw the flushed face and dark circles under her eyes. They had not spoken a word after last night's incident. Jane was still sleeping.

"Maura!" Maura's head shot up. She was looking at the sleeping brunette. _Did she just call me?_ "Maura!" She heard it again but Jane did not open her eyes. _Is she having a dream?_ "Maura, please don't leave me." Jane was whimpering now. "No, No Maura, please." Jane was struggling in her sleep.

The blonde was unsure of what to do. Part of her wanted to hold her wife and assure that she would not leave the brunette but it was impossible, because she had made the decision yesterday to leave Jane. So Suddenly, Jane jerked awake. She looked around for a while to make sure she was still at her home. There was the honey blonde standing in the kitchen island staring at the brunette with shocked expression and wide eyes. _Did I miss something? _Jane thought.

Maura turned away from Jane quickly.

"Maur." This time Jane called her consciously. "Maur! Please look at me." It was a plea.

Jane sighed and stood up from the couch and walked over to her wife. Maura still had her back to Jane. The tall, Italian, fearless brunette hesitated a moment to touch her own wife. She placed a hand on Maura's shoulder and urged her to turn around.

Maura looked into the dark brown eyes. Both of them were on the verge of getting tears. "Please, don't cry, Maur. It should be me who has to be punished. It's me who cheated on you. If it makes all the things better, I am willing to let you go. I promise, I'll never be in your life again. I won't hurt you; you can marry another person, if that can make you happy. But remember this, I love you, Maura. I can't live without you. I am not going to seek another woman in my life. It's always you. What I did, was wrong, completely wrong but it does not mean I love her. I did not know why I did it but I beg you, Maur. Please, give me another chance." Jane was on her knees literally begging her wife to take her back.

Maura inhaled deeply. She looked down at the brunette. It was not that easy for her.

"Was it just for sex?" She asked quietly.

Jane remained still.

"Tell me, Jane. Was it just for sex? If that was what you wanted you could have told me, Jane. I would love to sleep with you even in this condition. But… but you never told me, even touched me like that. I thought… I thought you are willing to wait for all these to be done. It's my entire fault. I wasn't being a good wife at all. I have ignored your needs. Why did you not tell me?" Maura sobbed uncontrollably.

Then it hit Jane hardly how deeply she had hurt Maura. Maura was thinking lack of herself even though Jane made this stupid mistake.

Jane was standing up and throwing her arms around her pregnant wife. "Shh… You are a good wife, Maur. You are the best. It's my fault not yours. Please, don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you like this. Forgive me, please." Jane buried her face in the crook of Maura's neck and fought her own tears.

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I really appreciate your reviews. I try my best to upload coming chapter soon.


	10. Always

_Forgive me, please._

Maura extracted herself from Jane. "I can't." She blurted out.

"What?" Jane looked so confused.

"I can't do this, Jane. I need some space. It's a lot to process. You've broken my trust, Jane. I don't know if I can trust you anymore. After this whenever you are late from work, my brain would imagine you in some faceless woman's arms. It's a torture, Jane. I can't do this anymore." Maura wiped her tear away angrily.

"But…" Maura put up her hand before Jane says anything.

"No! I did not expect this from you Jane Clementine Rizzoli! I thought I could handle this, but clearly I couldn't. This is killing me, Jane. You betrayed my trust." Her outburst made Jane's knees to go weaker.

Jane nodded. She could not blame Maura for talking to her like this. When two people exchange their vows and say 'do' on their wedding day, it means that for the rest of the life they have each other to have their back, but Jane clearly lost it.

"If you want me to go…"

"No. You stay here. I am going to New York to my parents' house for a while." Maura's voice was shaking with anger and she did not want to have any conversation with Jane which she could regret later. She wanted to make decision. She could be 'queen of dead' but she did not understand how human relationships work.

"I'll make the decision once I get back from New York. Until then don't disturb me." She said coldly and started to make breakfast.

"How…" Jane's voice broke in the middle. She cleared her throat, "How long are you going to be there?"

Maura turned around and frowned at the brunette's thin frame. "Why is that detective? She asked sharply. "If you know how long I'll be gone, will that be helpful for you to bring some whore to fuck in this house?" The good ME did not like to swear but nowadays she was doing it a lot.

Jane did not expect this kind of question from Maura. In Jane's point of view, she made a mistake once and that did not mean she wanted to do that every day. It was a lesson for her. On the other hand, in Maura's mind Jane always will be a cheater. She could not trust her anymore.

Each and every word coming from Maura stabbed Jane in the center of her heart. _After all these years being together, how could she not know me? Am I a womanizer? Is that what she thinks about me? _She stormed out of the kitchen immediately, leaving the ME behind her. She went to the guest room and slammed the door shut. After ten minutes, she came out, opened the front door of the house and closed it behind her.

Jane was not angry at Maura. She just could not take the pain anymore. She hopped into her car and drove aimlessly. She did not have a place to go. Tears were flowing on her both cheeks.

"_Jane, that was an old friend from my school days. Why did you act like that in front of her?" Maura was arguing with Jane on the door step, before entering into the house, while Jane was trying to open the door. _

"_For fuck sake, can you just hold your damn questions until we get into the house?" Jane sounded irritated. _

"_Language, Jane." Maura said it sternly._

"_Whatever." Jane muttered under her breath and entered the house without waiting for Maura. _

_Maura followed Jane and before the brunette could disappear into the room, she called after the detective. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli Isles! Don't walk away from me." Maura was angry at Jane's certain behavior at the party._

_Jane's jaw dropped when she heard Maura uttering her full name. She had pissed off the ME._

"_Jesus, Maur! Why are you shouting now?" Jane hissed._

"_Why am I shouting?" Maura laughed dramatically. "You know, why detective."_

"_What? Is it because I did not let you to go with the woman who was all over you the whole night?" Jane asked bitterly._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" _

"_You know what it means, Maur." Jane slipped into their bedroom while Maura was still processing what she had heard just now. Jane changed into T-shirt and sweat pant and passed by Maura to retrieve a beer from the refrigerator. _

"_Jane, put that away for a while and answer me."_

_Jane placed her beer on the kitchen counter and walked over to her wife. Her eyes were flared up with anger. _

"_You flirted with her." She pointed a finger at the honey blonde and said it in a tone that was only reserved for the suspects she was interrogating._

"_No. I did not." Maura protested. _

"_Hell No! She was all over you Maur and you were smiling and laughing with her. Do you think I am blind?" Jane was throwing her arm into air and shouting at her wife desperately._

"_Jane you know that I can't lie. I didn't flirt with her. Trust me. She was just a friend Jane. I haven't seen her in many years. I admit that I was talking and laughing with her but that didn't mean I flirted with her." The honey blonde tried to explain her actions to her wife. _

"_That's enough, Maura." Jane walked to their bedroom and shut the door behind her. _

_Few minutes later, Maura entered the room to take off her dress she was wearing for the party while Jane was on the bed looking at a case file. Maura had her back to Jane, slowly unzipped her dress while Jane stopped looking at the file and let her eyes roam over the white, smooth flesh of the blonde's back. _

_Jane threw the file on the night stand, settled under the cover and closed her eyes because she did not want to give in to the blonde's strip tease. _

_Maura turned around and looked at the detective. She was frustrated now. She threw the cover on the floor and straddled Jane half naked. Jane's eyes were snapped open._

"_What ar…" Jane was cut off by Maura's lips on hers._

_After a long heated kiss, Maura pulled back and looked into the brown orbs which were getting darker in lust. _

_She leaned down and stopped few millimeters apart from Jane's face. "Are you still mad at me?" She whispered into Jane's mouth. _

_Jane nodded._

"_Do you want to punish me?" The husky voice of the blonde, sent shivers into Jane's spinal cords. _

_Jane nodded again with a devilish smile on her face. She knew what Maura meant. _

_Maura leaned further and whispered into Jane's ear. "Go ahead, detective. I am all yours."_

_With that Jane rolled over Maura and pinned her on the bed. Now Jane was on top of the blonde._

"_Tell me." Jane demanded. _

_Maura always loved to have Jane on top. "What do you want me to tell you?" _

"_Tell me, you are mine." Jane said it in her bed room voice and sucked on Maura's neck._

_Maura gasped at the sudden contact. "I am… yours."_

_Jane moved down "Always?"_

"_Always." Her breath hitched. _


	11. It's called 'Fate'

_Always._

There were a 'screech' and a 'bang'. That was all Jane heard before she was closing eyes.

At their house, Maura was still in the kitchen contemplating what had happened few minutes ago. She shouldn't have talked to her wife like that. The well mannered Maura lost all her manners while arguing with the person she loved mostly in this world. She did not even try to stop Jane from leaving. That was unlike 'Maura' whom everyone knew for the past few years.

That was unfortunate. There were best friends for many years. They were supporting each other through good and bad. Now they were falling apart.

Maura bit her lower lip to ban herself from breaking down again. She had to be strong because all of these were not her fault. Suddenly the ringing of the phone startled her. She wiped her tears away and inhaled deeply before answering the call.

"Hello, Dr. Rizzoli Isles. How can I help you?" she asked formally.

"Hello, I am calling from Mass General of Boston. Is detective Rizzoli Isles your wife?" the voice in the other end asked.

When Maura heard Jane's name, it seemed like the world beneath her slipped away for a moment.

She cleared her throat and spoke, "Yes. She is. What… what happened to her?" When she was asking that question her heart dropped into her stomach. She knew something was not right. That was what Jane always called the 'gut feeling'.

"There's been a car accident involving Jane Rizzoli Isles at around 10.30 in this morning. She has been brought to the hospital ten minutes later. I'd appreciate if you can make it to the hospital as soon as possible."

Maura stood still. She was unable to process what she was hearing. She felt silence around her. The clock was ticking.

"Ma'am, are you still there?" the voice asked her.

"Ye…s. I'll be there in few minutes." Maura hung up the call and looked at the time.

_It's 10.45. So they brought her to the hospital 5 minutes ago. What have you done, Jane? Why do you hurt me so much?_ She thought. _What is going to happen now? _

She grabbed her car key from the drawer and hopped into the car. This time she did not control herself from crying. She let the tears to stream down on her cheeks.

_Why does it happen to my family? What did I do wrong? _Along the way to the hospital this was what running in her mind like a scratched record.

The blonde burst through the hospital main entrance. She did not care about what she was wearing or how she was looking like. Her mind was on Jane, solely on Jane.

She stood in front of the reception. She was impatient. Without any formal greetings she went straight to the point, "I'm here for my wife, Detective Jane Rizzoli Isles, who was brought in here fifteen minutes ago. Where's she in now?" She demanded.

Taken aback by Maura's attitude the receptionist tried to hide her anger. "Hold on a moment please. Let me check the computer." She scrolled down through the data until she found Jane's name.

"She is in OR now. You have to wait here until the doctors finish operating on her."

"OR? I can't wait. I want to speak to the chief surgeon NOW. I want to know what happened to my wife, right NOW." Maura scowled at the receptionist.

"Ma'am we can't allow…"

Maura cut her off "It's Dr. Maura Rizzoli Isles, the chief medical examiner of Common Wealth of Massachusetts. The woman in the OR is Homicide Detective Jane Rizzoli Isles. I have every right to talk to the chief of surgeon now unless you don't want to get anymore fund from Isles Foundation. Do you understand?"

The receptionist nodded. She made few phone calls here and there while Maura was trying to regain her self control.

"Ma'am the doctor will be here in a minute." She looked so scared of Maura.

Maura nodded and said, "Thank you. I am so sorry about my outburst. I…" She couldn't continue because she started to sob.

"Ma'am, I can understand that. Don't worry. Your wife will be okay."

Maura smiled through tears. "Thank you so much."

While waiting for the doctor Maura wanted to let Angela know what happened to Jane. She dialed her mother in law's number. After the second ring Ma Rizzoli picked up the call.

"Hello, Maura! How are you doing?" Angela asked her daughter in law in a motherly tone. Once she heard Angela's voice Maura burst into tears again.

"Hey are you crying? What happened? Maura, honey what's wrong? Did Jane do something again?" Angela hated to ask this but she knew her daughter very well. If the doctor was crying that must have something to do with Jane.

"Angela… I'm at the hospital." The 'google mouth' like Jane liked to refer, couldn't form more than five words by this time.

"What? Are you in pain?" Angela panicked when she heard the word 'hospital'. It's still early for Maura to give birth to her grand baby.

"No." She stopped for a while. "It's Jane."

"Jane? What happened to her?" Angela asked desperately.

Maura tried to swallow the lump formed in her throat before she started to speak again. "She was in a car accident. The doctors are operating on her now." Maura's voice was shaking with fear. "What should I do, Angela?" The genius doctor was unable to think anymore.

"Maura, calm down." Angela tried her best to cover her own tears. "She is gonna be okay. Do you hear me? She is going to be okay. Which hospital are you in now?" Angela knew what her daughter and her daughter in law were going through. She had to be strong for both of them, for her family.

"I am at Mass General. Angela, please come faster. I think I am going to go crazy." Maura sobbed. She was so stressed. She did not expect this turning point in her life. She had seen Jane shooting herself. She had seen Hoyt using the scalpel on Jane. That time, she was strong enough to stand by Jane, but this was totally different. They were not alone. They were going to have another tiny human being in their life. Above all that, the cause of the accident was the outburst of Maura in the morning. That's what she thought. She felt guilty. If she had not said any of those words, Jane wouldn't have left home. Maura knew Jane was upset. She knew Jane very well that she could not handle Maura's anger. The blonde knew that even though the brunette looked tough, she could be easily broken. She was so fragile.

"Sshh, Maura! Listen to me. She will be okay. I'll be right there in ten minutes. Promise me, you wouldn't let yourself down." Maura was her daughter too.

"I… I promise." Maura hung up and turned to face the doctor who was standing behind her and waiting patiently without interrupting Maura's conversation.

"I'm sorry. Are you waiting for me?" Maura kept her voice neutral because she promised her mother in law that she would be strong, but everyone could see how hard it was for Maura to act like everything was going to be okay, clearly it wasn't. After all, she was a doctor.


	12. Good bye

_I'm sorry. Are you waiting for me?_

Before she could ask anything about Jane, her eyes fell on a tall, blonde girl in that lobby. When Maura realized who that woman was, her eyes went wide in shock and anger. _Is that the girl she slept with? What the hell is she doing here? _Invisible steam was coming out of her ears.

"Excuse me." She dismissed her conversation with the doctor and walked towards the woman.

"YOU!" Maura pointed her finger at Abby.

Abby faced Maura "Me? Hey woman what's wrong with you? Oh… Are you the wife of Jane Rizzoli? She told me a lot of things about you. No wonder she wanted to sleep with me." She moved closer to Maura and whispered, "Jane said that you don't know how to please her. Is that true?" Abby chuckled.

"How dare you say that?" Maura's blood started to boil and she slapped Abby across her face.

"What the hell?" Abby was furious. "You bitch! Jane is here because of you, I guess. I had to call 911 when she was in the car covered in blood. Don't you appreciate what I've done?"

Maura was stunned. "What you've done? All of these happened because of YOU." Maura yelled.

"You know what, you don't deserve her. She doesn't love you. She told me that you are a hormonal bitch. I think she is right." Abby scowled at Maura.

Maura was broken by those words. She turned on her heel and ran out of the building as quickly as she could. She hopped into the car and threw her both hands on her mouth to stop herself from breaking.

At the hospital, Angela was rushing into lobby looking for Maura. She couldn't find her daughter in law so she went to the receptionist who was talking to Maura earlier.

"Excuse me ma'am, I am here to see Detective Jane Rizzoli. I am Angela Rizzoli, her mother. May I know where she is in now, please?" Angela requested the woman.

"Oh she is in the surgery now. She will be out in any time. Why don't you go and take a seat over there," gesturing to the waiting room, "so once she gets to recovery room, the nurse will call you." She smiled at Angela.

"Okay. I have one more question. By any chance, did you see or hear about Dr. Maura Isles, Jane's wife? Because she was here when she called me but I don't see her now."

"Oh… that blonde pregnant woman…" She trailed off.

"Ya, she is pregnant. Is she here?"

"No, she… she left. I feel so sorry for her."

"What? Why?" Angela didn't seem to understand what the receptionist meant by feeling sorry for Maura.

The woman told Angela about everything that happened in that lobby, crowded with people. Almost everyone in that place witnessed the fight between the two blonde women.

"What?" That was what Angela could say at that moment. She was too shocked to hear those ridiculous accusations made by Abby towards Maura.

"When I saw her leaving this building, she was so fragile." The woman was worried about the ME.

"The woman she was arguing with, Is she here?" Angela wanted to put a full stop to this issue. _Who does she think she is? How dare she spoke to Maura like that? What kind of shit Jane got into?_

"No. She left too but I tell you this. She looks so evil. The way she spoke to the Detective's wife was unbearable." She shook her head in disapproval.

"Thank you, ermmm sorry I forgot to ask you. What's your name?" Angela was grateful that someone had cared for Maura even though she didn't have anyone to support her at that moment.

"My name is Ana." Ana smiled at Angela once again.

"Thank you so much for your help Ana." Angela smiled back and turned to leave for the waiting room. While walking to the room, she took her phone out and dialed Maura's number. It went to voicemail straightly.

Angela knew something was wrong. She called Frankie quickly and asked him to check on Maura if she was at home.

"Jane Rizzoli Isles' family?" A nurse called from the hall way.

"Here!" Angela ran to the nurse. "I am her mother. How is she doing?"

"She is stable now. She had a minor surgery in her right arm where she had broken bone. If you need further information you may ask the doctor. The doctor will be here in any moment. Your daughter is still unconscious. You may see her now."

"Thank you." Angela nodded and entered the room where Jane was placed in for recovery.

Suddenly Angela's phone started ringing.

"Hello, Frankie! Is Maura okay?" Angela sounded so worried.

"Ma… "

"Tell me Frankie. Is she okay?"

"Ma… she is not here."

"What? Oh MY GOD!"

"Ma, I found two covers that addressed to you and Jane on the coffee table. Do you need to tell me something, Ma? Because I am not sure what's going on with you all." Frankie sounded disappointed and hurt.

"Listen Frankie. I can't talk to you right now. Come to Mass General now and bring the covers with you. I'll tell you everything in person." With that she hung up the call.

She looked at her daughter who was still in the hospital bed without conscious. Tears escaped from the corner of her eyes while she was thinking about the future of her daughters including Maura.

"Relative of Jane Rizzoli Isles?" A blonde, tall, handsome man entered the room.

"Yes. I am her mother."

"I am Dr. Parker, Detective Jane Rizzoli's attending surgeon." He introduced himself to Angela.

"How is she doing doctor?"

"She is doing great. She had to go through the surgery because she had a broken bone in her right arm. She may gain full function of her hand within a month or two and she has some bruises that were taken care of. She can go home after two or three days if she doesn't have any complications during following checkups. She will wake up soon once local anesthesia wears off. She has to be in pain medication for the time being. Is there anything you want to ask me, madam?" The doctor explained everything in simple words.

Angela shook her head indicating she did not have any questions regarding her daughter's health but she had so many questions in her mind about Maura and Jane's relationship with that slut.

"Okay then, I'll see her after 2 hours once she wakes up. Call me if she has any pain or something." The doctor left the room.

"Ma! What's going on here?" Frankie entered the room suddenly. "What happened to Janie?"

"She had an accident Frankie."

"What? Okay, what's going on with Maura then? She is not at home. Her phone is not working. What the hell Ma?" Frankie raised his voice at her mother.

"Shhhh! Why are you yelling now?" She hissed. "It's your sister's mess. I'm so worried about Maura now. Oh that poor girl. Frankie, did you bring those covers?" Angela's voice was shaking with sadness.

"Yeah ma, here."

Angela opened one of the covers that addressed to her. When she recognized the blonde's hand writing, her heart was broken again.

_Dear Angela,_

_I can't explain what I'm feeling now but one thing I could tell you that I feel so numb. You are the mother that anyone could ask for. You've loved me as your own. But it's time for me to leave. Jane doesn't love me the way she used to. She betrayed me. I can't take this anymore, Angela. Please take care of Bass. Don't try to find me. I want to be alone. I'll take care of your grandbaby. I promise that. There is another cover for Jane. Once she wakes up, give it to her._

_With love,  
Maura._

"Maura" Maura's name escaped from Angela's mouth unexpectedly as a whisper.

The letter was short, filled with Maura's pain.


	13. Fixing

_Maura…_

"Maura…" Jane slowly opened her eyes adjusting to the brightness in that room.

"Janie! You are awake. Thank GOD!" Angela rushed to her daughter's side while Frankie was staring at his sister like he had seen a ghost. It was not too long ago, since he was aware of the situation there.

"Ma… Where is Maura?" Wincing in pain, Jane managed to ask about her wife. That was the first thought came into her mind while coming back to the real world.

"Hmm she is at home, right Frankie? Home." Angela was stuttering out of panic and Frankie's face went pale.

"Ya… She is… She's at home. I'm gonna call the doctor." Frankie tried to escape the room but a husky voice stopped him.

"Wait, Frankie. I don't want to see any doctor. I want to see Maura. Call her please." Jane was pleading with tears in her dark chocolate orbs.

"Janie. We'll call Maura later. First of all the doctor has to see you." Angela interjected.

"Don't you understand Ma? I WANT to see Maura." Jane yelled. All the people from the corridor could hear the fiery detective's outburst.

"Calm down, Jane. You just had a surgery. You are going to hurt yourself again." Frankie said as a matter of fact.

"I don't give a damn about that." Switching her gaze to her mom, she tried again. "Please Ma. Does she know I'm here?"

"Yes." Angela didn't want to lie again.

"Why isn't she here?" Before Angela could respond to that question, Jane raised her left hand to stop her mother from answering. "I know. She hates me."

"How long have I been here?"

"More than four hours."

Jane nodded in understanding. "Did you check on Maura? Is she eating properly? She can punish me Ma. I don't want her to punish herself because of me."

"Jane…"

"Ma! I'm going for my shift. See you later." Frankie interrupted Angela. He kissed Jane on the cheek and hugged her mother before leaving the room.

"Is she still mad at me?" She slowly lifted her eyes to meet her mother's.

"Jane. This is going to hurt you but I can't hide it any longer." Angela sighed and took the cover from the small table in that room. "I don't know what's inside. Whatever it is, but it's going to hurt you so much. I know that for sure." Angela handed that cover to Jane.

Jane had bewildered expression on her face when she opened the cover with her left hand. _No, it can't be divorce papers. Please God! Don't do this to me._

There was no paper but a shining object. Jane did not need a second to recognize what it was. She knew it very well. She was the one chose it. She was the one touched it first. That was the wedding band she gave to Maura on their big day.

Tears welled up. Everything went blank. Jane squeezed her eyes shut refraining herself from seeing her fallen wedding fantasy.

"Tell me it's just a dream."

"Janie."

"No. Tell me Ma. Tell me that it's just a dream and everything will be back to normal when I open my eyes."

"Jane. Maura left." Ma Rizzoli said it quietly.

"What? Why didn't you stop her?" Jane cried like a baby and Angela tried to soothe her but failed.

"STOP IT JANE!" She yelled.

"Do you have any idea what she had gone through this morning? After everything happened in that lobby, I bet, she even wouldn't want to think about you." That was too harsh.

"What do mean by that Ma? I am willing to beg her to forgive me. She knows I can't live without her. She knows that very well. We've been together for years Ma. FOR YEARS! Then why can't she give me a chance to fix this? This is my fau…" Suddenly a knock on the door brought their attention to the entrance of the room.

"Erm… Sorry to interrupt. Hello Detective Rizzoli, I am Dr. Parker. How are you feeling now?" Her doctor entered the room to check on her health condition.

"I wish I could be dead now." The brunette muttered under her breath.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Did you say something?" The doctor asked her while checking her pulse and her broken arm.

"No. I mean, yes. I said I'm feeling really good. When can I go home?" Jane seemed so frustrated.

"If everything goes smoothly, you can go home tomorrow morning Rizzoli. Just make sure, you take the medicine properly and don't strain your hand. The cast can go after one week, but you can't be in field duty for at least a month. Come and see me after one week." He smiled at Jane.

"Whatever." She said sharply at the doctor.

"Okay, the nurse will talk to you about the procedures later. I think I should go now." The doctor left the room.

"Thank you so much doctor." Angela called after him and faced Jane again. "JANE CLEMANTINE RIZZOLI! Did I raise you like this? You are being rude to everyone and you hurt the person that loves you most. You told the _slut_ you slept with, that Maura is a hormonal bitch. The receptionist told me what happened in that lobby in front of all the people. Your girl friend told your wife that you called Maura a bitch and she did not know how to please you. All the time in my life I'd never been ashamed of you but now I wish I should have raised you better than this." Angela lost herself in anger.

"What the hell Ma? How can I say such things about Maura? She is the love my life Ma. She is my life. THAT BITCH! I'm gonna kill her with my own hands." Jane tried to get up from the bed but Angela stopped the angry brunette.

"Where do you think you are going to go now?"

"I want to see Maura now. I want to explain everything to her and beg her to come back to me. Before all that I want to find that bitch Abby. I want her to pay for all these messes. How dare she talk to Maura like that? She seduced me Ma and I had this accident because of her. I saw her on the side walk and lost my control." Jane sobbed violently.

"Shh baby, don't cry. Everything will be alright." Angela blinked her own tears away.

"No Ma. Nothing is alright. She's gone. She left me because of this fucking mistake I made but I swear to God I've never ever talked about Maura like that to anyone Ma. I love her. I fucking love her so much. She can't leave me like this Ma. Do you know where she is now?"

Angela shook her head. "No, Janie. We couldn't contact her. She left before Frankie could reach your house. I have no idea baby. I'm so sorry."

"I want to talk to Frost now. Can I use your phone?" Jane asked her mother.

Angela handed her phone to her daughter and Jane dialed Frost's number.

"Frost, it's me, Jane." She explained everything to him. Finally she said, "And run the name 'Abby Stevenson'. Bring that bitch to precinct. No matter what I'll be there in the morning tomorrow." Then she hung up the phone and looked at her mother before the pain medication dragged her into sleep.


	14. Truth about the night

**A/N : I am really sorry I couldn't upload any new chapters for the last 2 months. I was busy with work and study and I was a bit discouraged by last few reviews but I just want you to know, I'm gonna continue writing this no matter how you all hate me ;)**

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_run the name 'Abby Stevenson'. Bring that bitch to precinct._

Next day at the precinct, Frost and Korsak were at division one café with Angela clearly worried about Jane and Maura. Everything happened so fast and they didn't even dream about Jane or Maura leaving each other for the rest of their life. The reality sucked and hurt. A lot.

Bursting through the door, the tall, female detective almost ran to Frost, trying so hard to hide the physical pain even though her face showed them the emotional pain she was having at that moment.

"What the hell, Jane? Did you just break away from Mass Gen? Look at you! You can't even walk properly." Korsak bellowed angrily.

Jane glared at the older detective. "Not now, Korsak. I'm here to see Frost." Jane moved her gaze from her ex-partner to her current partner.

"Frost, did you find her? Did you find anything about Maura?"

Korsak and Angela exchanged their gaze for a brief moment.

"Uhm, Jane before I tell you anything, I want to ask you something." Jane nodded her head.

"How do you know this girl in first place? I mean, do you really know her before? Frost asked her skeptically. "Hold on, let's go and sit first so we can discuss about few things clearly." Jane nodded and followed Frost's guidance.

"I'll see you later Sergeant Korsak. I have work to do." Angela tried to extricate herself from the conversation.

Korsak nodded his head and followed his colleagues quickly.

"So Jane, tell me."

"Mm we went to high school together. It was fifteen years ago. She…" Jane hesitated for few seconds before continuing, "She made a proposal. She wanted to be with me as a 'girl friend'. I rejected her. I didn't get to see her after high school until that night at that bar." She stopped talking when Frost started to rub his temples.

Jane frowned at him. "Frost, what are you not telling me?"

Korsak signaled him to relax. "This is unexpected. Probably this will hurt you more than now but when we ran the name 'Abby Stevenson' in the system, it revealed that she is a drug dealer, Jane." Jane was shocked. "She was convicted of sexual assault, drug dealing and smuggling." Jane looked at them bewildered.

"And she is not in this country right now. She has booked a flight ticket to Mexico yesterday afternoon." Frost finished Korsak's statement.

"What?" Jane almost had a panic attack. "She told me two weeks ago that she is going to go to London the next day but I saw her yester day in this city. Now she ran to Mexico? Just like that? Why did she do this? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Jane, are you sure you were not drugged on that day?" Frost asked immediately.

"I don't know." Jane looked at both of them and raised an eye brow. "Do you think so?"

"It's possible, Jane. Okay just tell me what happened the other night. Do you sense anything odd?"

"I'm not sure Korsak. I went to that bar. I had couple of bottles of beer. Then I met her. She flirted with me. I told her that I'm married. Then she apologized. After that she invited me to her house and I rejected the invitation but she pleaded. After I went there she offered me wine. I remember that. Ya, I had wine, and then she advanced on me. I tried to stop her. I couldn't think straight then. That's it Korsak. I don't remember anything that happened after that. I remember I woke up next to someone but I don't remember what I did with her, even a single moment."

"Oh boy!" Korsak's eyes fell on certain medical examiner strolling into BPD through the main entrance.

Jane's eyes followed the direction where she found her wife in black maternity dress followed by a tall brunette man. _Wait what? _

Their eyes met. Jane left the chair she was sitting and ran towards Maura. Her lover and wife.

"Maur! Where did you go? Thank god! I thought… I thought I've lost you forever." Jane reached her wife with her good arm. Suddenly the blonde backed away slightly to avoid the brunette's touch. The hurt in Jane's face was so evident so was Maura's.

"How are you doing Detective Rizzoli?" Before Jane could open her mouth to say anything she continued, "I can see you are doing very well. I don't like to make guesses but I assume you girl friend is looking after you in a good way. If you excuse me, I need to collect some things from my office before leaving this city." Maura tried to walk away from Jane but a grip on her wrist stopped her.

"Miss Rizzoli, I kindly ask you to take off your hand from Maura please." It was the man with Maura.

Jane broke her gaze from her wife and looked at the man intently. He was dressed nicely more like a gentle man.

Jane tightened the grip and growled at the man. " Or what?" She challenged him.

"Sorry to say this, but I have every power to put you in right place if you don't do what I requested. By the way I'm Garrett Fairfield, Maura's family friend." He introduced himself.

_Garrett? As Maura's ex-fiancé? What hell is he doing with my wife? _ Jane loosened her hold and looked so defeated.

Maura turned back to Garrett and forced a smile, "Thank you Garrett but you don't have to do this for me. I can deal with it. Wait for me here please. I'll be back in few minutes." Without looking at the brunette, she walked towards the elevator. The two ladies looked at each other before the elevator door closed before the ME.

There stood Jane with Garrett with tears rolling down her bruised cheeks. Korsak and Frost witnessed everything that happened among the three of them, slowly walked towards Jane.

Korsak started first. " Mr. Fairfield we really appreciate that you support , but you must know this woman standing in front you, is the wife of and the mother of her child and we are her family, no matter what you meant about putting Jane in right place, we can assure you that you will be put in jail for assaulting a detective in front of her fellow officers, if you ever threaten her again." Garrett was shocked by the boldness of the older detective. "You can't go anywhere but this café in this building, . You will stay here until returns." The authority in his voice was clear as crystal.

Garrett set his jaws tightly. His anger was boiling inside. He just pushed through the detectives and sat at a table in the café. Korsak turned to Jane. "Go Jane. Go and talk to her. Convince her to stay here." Jane didn't have time to say anything to anyone. She rushed downstairs to see her wife.

"Maura!" the detective opened the door of ME's office. Maura was stunned by the call of her name. She raise her head to meet the brunette at the door. Without any expressions on her face, Maura simply asked, "What do you want Detective?"

Jane bit her lips to keep herself from yelling at the cold tone of her.

"Don't do this Maura. Just… Just listen to me. Let me explain what happened. Please, give me a chance to fix this."

"Excuse me, Jane? I'm not sure, what you want to explain after what happened in the hospital yesterday. Clearly, you're not happy with me, Jane. What we had is gone. The Jane, I knew, I loved is gone. All these while we built a life, a happy life together and it shattered in front our own eyes few weeks ago and now you want to explain things? Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Maur, what I've done is wrong, truly I regret that but until this morning, I didn't know I could be drugged on that night." Maura's head snapped up and her eyes looked puzzled.

"So, now you are telling me that you slept with someone because you were drugged?" Maura crossed her arms at her chest and gazed at the detective pointedly.

Jane took some steps forward and invaded the ME's personal space. With her left hand she tried to hold Maura's hand but Maura jerked away.

"Maur. Listen, I know I went there. I know she kissed me. I know without thinking clearly, I thought it would be just one night, but I don't know what happened after that. I don't know if I really touched her or not. God know! I only know in the morning someone was sleeping next to me naked, but I don't know if I did it, Maur. Please believe me. Ma told me everything that happened yesterday. I swear to God Maur. You are my wife, my better half. You are the only person makes me happy. No one ever will stand a chance against you, Maur. Whatever she said is not true. I wouldn't say such things about you, even in my dreams, Maura. Don't leave me." Jane was almost on her knees.

"Sorry, Jane. I need some space. I'm going to New York today evening. Garrett is going to send me to his Uncle's mansion. He is the only one I know very well in this city after your family, Jane." _Your family._ Those words 'd stung.


	15. Shattered glass

_Sorry, Jane. I need some space._

"Maur, please, don't do this. We can talk. We can go to therapy. We can fix this. I'll make it up to you for the rest of our life. Please, don't leave me." Jane begged.

Maura closed her eyes just to calm herself and she did not want to make a big scene in her office. _Take deep breaths Maura. Yes, like that. _

"Jane, I've had enough. Just… Please, give me some time. I want to forget about everything that happened between you and me. I gave you the wedding band back because I don't want to continue being this weak, stupid human being anymore. It was humiliating at the hospital, in front of everyone. I was embarrassed beyond you could think." Maura's voice had shaken while thinking about the incident at the hospital.

"Do you really think, I would say something like that to any bitch whoever comes into my way?" Jane raised her voice to make sure that she wouldn't dare to do so.

Muara remained silent. "So is that it? You believed her. That's it! So you don't even have a tiny bit of faith in me? Maur, after all I've said, you still wouldn't believe me, right?" The brunette was defeated.

"Sorry, Jane. I have to go now. My attorney will contact you as soon as I've reached New York. He will talk about the child's custody with you. You may leave now, if you don't have anything to say. I need to pack few things." With that Maura started to walk around her office table to collect some folders.

_Now or never, Jane. Say something. Damn it, Jane Rizzoli, do you really think she will listen to you? Do something before she leaves or you will lose her forever. You will lose your family. Do something. Now! RIGHT NOW!_

"STAY!" Jane sounded dangerous.

Maura stopped abruptly. "Excuse me?"

"I said 'STAY'. You can't go anywhere. Not now."

Maura moved closer to Jane. "Now, Detective, who do you think you are, to give me orders? I am a grown woman. I am mentally and physically capable of making my own decisions. You can't say what I can and can't do. Do you understand? We're through. So, please leave my office now, or I may have to talk to Cavanaugh." Maura threatened. She never did that before. Inside, she was hating herself for doing this but she couldn't give in to Jane. Not now.

_Okay. I don't have any choice. This is the last chance. I'm so sorry but I have to do this, for US. _

"Okay. You can leave but I want the full custody of my baby." She knew how to press the buttons of the good doctor.

"What?"

"You heard me. I said I want the full custody of 'MY' baby."

"Jane, you can't do that. It's not fair." Maura was shocked as hell. How could Jane do this?

"Yes, it's fair. That's my child in your womb. I have every right to fight for the baby. You don't want me but you want my child, Maur? That's not fair, for ME because, how can you love the baby, if you hate me so much? That baby is going have my hair, my eyes, my face and damn it even my behaviors. In future, I'm not sure if the baby's going to be safe with you, because you may harm my child because of what I did to you. I don't believe you, ANYMORE." _Fuck Jane. What's wrong with you, Idiot? _

Before she could comprehend what's happening, she saw lightning and heard thunder at once. She was slapped hard across her face by the blonde. Jane was bleeding from her lips.

Maura seemed so angry that she couldn't stand straight because she was shaking. She moved to the uncomfortable couch in her office and lowered herself on it. She started to sob uncontrollably. Jane stood there holding her cheek with her left hand, controlling the urge to run to the blonde and envelope her woman in her arms.

After few minutes of silence in that room, Maura finally spoke first wiping the trace of tears. "Okay, you can have the child, all for yourself." Maura made this decision after contemplating pros and cons of this child's life. First thing she couldn't stay in Boston and work with Jane if she got divorce. Second, if she was going to move to another city, Jane won't be able to see the baby. Third, she didn't have a family like Jane had. She couldn't give the love to the baby that a family could give. Fourth, Jane was right. She didn't have any rights on this child. She was like a surrogate mother. That's what Jane meant right? The baby was Jane's baby. She was nothing. One day the child would know everything and leave her.

Maura painfully lifted her legs from the floor and tugged under herself on the couch.

"Once the baby is born, I'll sign all the papers and leave this city. I'll ask my attorney to prepare the divorce papers then." Her tone was cold and emotionless. After all, she was the queen of dead. All these while she had nobody in her life until she met Jane and her family. Now everything was ruined and once again she was being forced to live her life alone.

She was a scientist, doctor who didn't believe in miracles. Based on the evidences, she concluded that Jane cheated on her and didn't love her anymore. Additionally, Jane didn't want her to be the other mother of Jane's baby. So the final conclusion was made by the Doctor. Everything was done.

In the other hand, Jane was shocked. It's true that when someone gets angry, sad or desperate, they may not think straight. They'll always let their words slip without knowledge. They won't even think how it's going to affect other people.

"I don't want Angela or others to know about this. When the time comes, we'll tell them. I don't want to hurt them now. When the baby is finally here, they will forget about me and be happy with the new addition to your family." She looked at her wife's face who stood like a zombie with split lips. _Did you do that Maura? You hurt your wife. Oh god! When did you become a monster like your biological father?_

Jane couldn't find any words to say to the blonde. She didn't know how to rewind the past thirty minutes in that office. She wanted to undo all the things she did. She wanted to erase all the words she said, but it was too late. Now she stood there like a stupid who broke the heart of the love of her life.

"I want to go home. I want to sleep. Your child is making me uncomfortable. I'll stay in the guest room. On the way back, I'll talk to Garrett." Maura tried to get up from the couch obviously struggling to stand. Jane stretched her left hand towards the blonde but she shrugged it off.

"No, Jane, I can stand by myself. I'm not invalid still. Let's go." She grabbed her purse, kept the folders back at the office and strode out of the place without looking back at the detective.

Jane did not understand what the blonde was thinking. Whatever in Maura's mind was not good at all, that's the only thing she understood.

_How could she give up on their baby so easily? Did she even love the baby? She should have fought with me. She should have told me how much the baby meant to her, but she didn't even attempt to make a protest. So she didn't want the baby anymore? Damn it Maura, why are you so complicated? Why do you want to leave US? We can't survive without you, Maur. The baby needs you, more over that I need you. How can I make it up to you? How can I make you forgive me? I know what to do. I am going to show you every damn second until the baby is born, how much I love you, how much you meant to me. I am going to be the person that you want to fall in love again. I'm not gonna let you go, Maur, not now, not ever. _Are twelve more weeks enough to change the blonde's mind?

Jane followed Maura outside her office to the elevator.


	16. It was perfect

_I'm not invalid still. Let's go._

It had been two weeks since the so called 'conversation' took place between Jane and Maura. Since then neither of them wanted to talk about that. Jane tried to avoid the awkwardness in her household by staying at BPD longer than she was needed, while Maura would lock herself up in the guest room once she arrived home.

The blonde had been thirty weeks pregnant with Jane's baby. The past fourteen days were miserable to the doctor because she was still thinking about the argument they had over their unborn baby. Less or more than ten weeks, there would be a mini Jane living in that house. Where would Maura go?

On the other hand Jane mentally beat herself to take back all the words she said to her wife. If she could, she wanted to rewrite the screen play she had been playing from the last month.

Angela Rizzoli was told to stay away from the blonde by her daughter. Jane didn't want Maura to be bothered by her Ma. She knew whatever happens, Angela would like to want to know about the decision about their marriage and she knew very well that her wife couldn't lie at all.

"_Jane! You are home!" Angela threw her arm around Jane and hugged her tightly. _

"_MA!" The brunette tried to fight free from her mother's embrace. "Ma! No, please. I can't breathe and my arm hurts. Let me go, Ma" Jane hissed in pain. _

"_Aw, sorry baby. I forgot that." Elder Rizzoli found Maura after Jane. She quickly moved towards the blonde and enveloped her daughter in law in her arm. "Maura honey. I'm glad you're home. I was so worried about you." _

_Maura tried to hold her tears back but failed miserably. She sobbed into Angela's chest. _

"_Sweetie, please don't cry. Whatever happens, you are my daughter and you always will be." Angela tried to soothe the pregnant woman. _

_The blonde released herself from her mother in law's hand, "Thank you, Angela! If you will excuse me, I want to lie down. I'm really exhausted." She smiled at Angela and left the place before Mama Rizzoli could ask any more questions. She walked to the guest room and closed the door behind herself. _

_Angela and Jane were watching at the blonde while she was taking her every step towards the room. The hurt in Jane's eyes was so evident that she couldn't stop herself from biting her lower lips. _

"_Jane, wh" _

"_No, Ma! Listen!" Before Angela could finish her sentence, Jane cut her off. Her voice was low and dangerous. It was almost a threat. "Maura is here, that's all I need. So don't do anything to ruin that for me. If you really want me to be happy with Maura, then please don't talk about me to her. Don't ever mention or ask anything… anything about me or our marriage at all." With that Jane left the spot she was standing and went over to the couch. _

What did I say?_ Angela was just staring at her daughter with her wide eyes. _Is it me? No, I didn't do anything. May be she is in a bad mood. Ah it's because she is in pain medication.

"_Okay, Janie. I won't do anything that you don't want me to. I promise. I want you to be happy. I'll be in the guest house if you or Maura need me." Angela opened the back door and exited the main house. _

That was two weeks ago when the couple decided to live together until the baby was born.

"Hey, Jane! Wanna go for a drink?" Frost offered.

Jane shifted her gaze from the file she was reading and looked at her partner. She looked so lost.

"Sorry, what did you say?" apparently Jane was not in the world at the moment. Even though she was looking at the file, her thoughts were occupied by her wife's images.

"I asked whether you want to go for a drink or not? Korsak is coming. It's Friday Jane, and it's almost gonna be 7. Why don't you join us?" Frost was looking at her hopefully. He just wanted to cheer her up. He knew that she was hurting inside. Since the day that the couple fought, she had been a mess. She was not concentrating on the case more than five minutes. It hurt a lot to see the Boston's best homicide detective like this.

"Ya, join us. You worked really hard for the past few days, Jane. Come and have some fun at the Dirty Robber." Korsak invited too but Jane was way too tired. She wasn't sleeping well and she had been going home late almost every day. She stopped eating healthy meals. She looked skinnier than before. She felt weaker.

"No, thank you guys, but no. I am going home." She put the file she was holding on her desk and stood up to grab her blazer from her chair. "See you on Monday. Good night Frost. You too Korsak." She started to walk away from her colleagues.

Frost and Korsak looked at each other. "Do you think she is going to recover from this?" Korsak asked the younger detective with concern.

"I don't know, Vince. The only person who can make her extreme happy or extreme sad is . She loves her so much you know."

Korsak nodded. "I just want that kid to be herself again. is a good person. I hope she can see Jane for who she really is." He sighed.

When Jane arrived home, she couldn't find Maura's car. She looked at the time. It was showing 7.15 p.m. _Where is she? Is she still in morgue? _Jane started wondering and got out her unmarked ford. It seemed so hard for her to drag herself all the way from the driveway to the front door.

She stumbled at the door step and cursed loudly. "SHIT! Damn you Jane. Watch your fucking steps!" Finally she managed to open the door and let herself in.

All she wanted was to curl up into a ball and fall asleep. She walked into the bedroom she and Maura used to share and stopped suddenly. _No, not in this room. I can't, I won't fall asleep here. _She sighed and rubbed her face with the scarred hands. _This bed, the sheet, the cover, they all… Maura… _A single tear found its way from the corner of her eyes.

The dinner was forgotten. She found peace on the couch in their living room. She fell asleep there.

Several minutes later, Maura found herself at home. She didn't expect to find the brunette on the couch. The Doctor was standing there and studying the feature of the fiery detective who she'd fallen in love with few years ago. The detective was not the same person who was sleeping now. Jane looked small. By the dark circles under the eyes, Maura could tell that Jane wasn't sleeping enough. Her body seemed so fragile. _She's lost few pounds. God! She is so… beautiful. _

Maura was carefully on her knees, next to Jane. She looked at her wife so lovingly. She brought her hand to move the black angry curls away from the brunette face. She missed this. She missed Jane, her wife. She missed her wife's protective arms around her. She missed Jane's bonding time with their baby.

She was lost in the thoughts of her detective therefore she didn't see the two dark brown orbs looking at her. When she felt Jane's eyes on her, she just bolted up and tried to move away, but before she could move even a foot from the couch, Jane grabbed her by the wrist.

Both of them held their eyes at each other. Maura was not sure if Jane was going to fight. Jane was scared that Maura was going to leave her _again._

Then there it was "Can… can I hold you tonight, Maur?" It was a plea. Jane was unsure of her own voice. It was trembling. She was afraid of the answer Maura was going to give. She expected the worst but it was the true love doing the magic in this world.

Maura just nodded her head and moved to the couch. They laid there while Jane was spooning Maura from behind. She buried her face into the golden curls and rested her left hand of Maura belly.

That's when she felt the baby's kick. _Oh I missed you so much little one._ Jane started to caress her wife's pregnant belly. A small smile appeared along the corner of the brunette's lips while a drop of water gathered itself in the corner of the honey blonde's eye.


End file.
